Myths & Facts

Myth: Guys cannot be sexually assaulted.
Fact: Both guys and girls can be sexually assaulted. 1 in 20 men and 1 in 5 women in Australia over the age of 15 years have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime.
(Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2006). Personal safety survey (Reissue), Canberra)
Myth: Girls provoke sexual assault by the way they dress or act.
Fact: No person provokes or asks for sexual assault. Girls dress and/or flirt to feel attractive. Perpetrators are responsible for their own actions.
Myth: Girls enjoy being sexually assaulted.
Fact: Any form of sexual violence is frightening and humiliating and no-one enjoys an experience like that.
Myth: Most sexual assaults occur at night time in dark alleys.
Fact: Many sexual assaults occur in the daytime and in the home of the victim.
Myth: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers.
Fact: Most sexual assaults (80%) are committed by a person known to the victim.
(Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2006). Personal safety survey (Reissue), Canberra)
Myth: Guys cannot be sexually assaulted because they can defend themselves.
Fact: Many people (guys and girls) who are sexually assaulted are so traumatised by a sexual assault that they freeze and may be unable to react. This is a biological function and is not something that a person has control over.
Myth: Having an unwanted sexual act which the person did not consent to is OK if it's with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
Fact: Having an unwanted sexual act with your girlfriend/boyfriend without consent is still sexual assault and therefore against the law.
Myth: A guy cannot be sexually assaulted by a girl.
Fact: Although males are usually sexually assaulted by another male, some are assaulted by females.
Myth: Someone who has been drinking or taking drugs is asking to be sexually assaulted
Fact: Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs can prevent you from giving consent to sexual acts with another person. It is a crime to have sex with a person who cannot give consent due to being underage, intoxicated, unconscious, asleep or that has a decision-making disability.
Myth: Guys only sexually assault others because they are frustrated or they cannot control themselves.
Fact: Some sexual assaults are well planned in advance and do not involve a loss of control on the perpetrator's part.
Myth: Sexual assaults from drink 'spiking' are due to the use of the drug Rohypnol.
Fact: Most sexual assaults involving drink 'spiking' are due to additional amounts of alcohol, not the use of Rohypnol.
Myth: If someone agrees to kissing and fondling, that is the same as agreeing to “going all the way”.
Fact: All people have the right to determine what sexual acts they are comfortable with and can choose to change their minds at any time.
Myth: "No" can sometimes mean "yes" – women sometimes play 'hard to get'.
Fact: No means NO.
Myth: If you buy someone dinner and drinks then it is OK to expect that they will/should have sex with you.
Fact: Just because you are buying something for someone does not entitle you to have sex with them. Sex without real consent is a sexual assault and therefore against the law.
Myth: Guys who are sexually assaulted are, or will, become homosexual.
Fact: Sexual orientation is not affected or influenced by sexual assault.
Myth: Males who sexually assault other males are homosexual.
Fact: Most males who sexually assault other males actually describe themselves as heterosexual and are often in a relationship with a female at the time.
Myth: If someone says yes to a sexual act but changes their mind during the act it is OK to continue.
Fact: Consent can be given and taken away at any time. If someone says no to something, stop.
Myth: It is OK to have sex with your regular partner while they are asleep.
Fact: Someone who is asleep cannot give legal consent. Sex without consent is sexual assault.
Myth: Using the 'pill' is a form of safe sex.
Fact: Use of the ‘pill’ reduces the chances of getting pregnant but it does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The best products for safer sex are condoms which can reduce pregnancy and contracting STIs.
Myth: It is OK to prevent or stop your partner from talking to any other girls or guys.
Fact: A respectful relationship should be free from power and control imbalances and instead nurture trust and respect.
Myth: Is it really sexual assault if someone does not scream or fight and does not have any injuries?
Fact: Most people don’t scream or fight, despite what you see on TV. They may not have screamed or fought during the sexual assault because they were frozen with fear. This is a common reaction for many sexual assault victims.

Respect & sex

If you like this Fact Sheet and want to know more, check out our other Fact Sheets:

 

 

Safer sex is not just about being safer physically.  It is also about being safer emotionally and being ready for sex.

 

For any situation you may encounter it’s about – confidence, body language, awareness of your surroundings, good planning, good decision making, trusting your gut and ultimately, respecting yourself and others!

 

Remember, in everything you do – it’s about what’s ok and what’s not ok for you.

 

What is sex?

 

Sex is about more than just vaginal sex. It includes oral sex, anal sex, even kissing, touching, stroking and rubbing. 

 

What is safer sex?

 

Safer sex is about being ready, being respectful and pleasurable, being freely consented to by both partners and reducing the risk of STIs and unplanned pregnancy.

 

Safer sex also means sexual contact (all types of sex) that doesn’t let any of yours or your partner’s body fluids (like semen (sperm, cum) vaginal fluids or blood) pass between you.

 

 

Why practise safer sex?

 

  • To avoid unplanned pregnancy
  • To reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
  • To stay emotionally healthy.

 

How do you practise safer sex?

 

The only true way to have safe sex free of the risk of STIs and unplanned pregnancy is to not have sex at all.

 

Practising safer sex begins with being ready for sex. This means thinking about when you want to have sex for the first time, how much you want to have sex, who you want to have sex with and how you want to have sex. Know your limits and choose what you want to do.

 

 Remember, in everything you do – it’s about what’s ok and what’s not ok for you.

 

Safer sex also begins with a conversation with your partner about safer sex. Expressing what you want and understanding what they want when it comes to sex is important. To have respectful sex you need to understand where each other are coming from.

 

Practising safer sex also means being prepared for sex by talking about different protection options with your partner, deciding on one and getting the protection you need before having any kind of sex. Find out about the different types of protection available and work out together what you and your partner want to use.    

 

Safer sex means thinking about…

 

  • whether you’re ready to have sex
  • the impact that alcohol and drugs can have on your judgement
    • For more on this check out our ‘If you’re using alcohol and/or other drugs’ Fact Sheet
  • the importance of talking about it before you get carried away
    • This includes talking about any protection you are going to use
  • whether there is trust and respect with your partner
  • using protection against STIs and unplanned pregnancy
    • There are a variety of different methods of protection including condoms and dental dams
    • Condoms are very effective at preventing pregnancy and protecting against most STIs
    • Using condoms and dental dams may not protect against some STIs like genital warts and herpes that can affect the skin that is not covered by the chosen method of protection
  • the laws around consent for sex
    • For more on your sexual rights check out our ‘Consent’ Fact Sheet.

           

What if safer sex doesn’t happen?

 

If you have unprotected sex

  • Get tested for STIs
  • Don’t go on having unprotected sex just because it has happened once.

You can start practising safer sex at any time.

 

If you are pressured or forced to have sex

  • Being coerced, pressured, threatened or forced into having sex with someone is not safer sex
  • If this happens talk to someone. You can either talk to an adult or friend you trust or you can call a SARC counsellor on (08) 9340 1828.

 

Information taken from: thesite.org Safe Sex at www.thesite.org; sex’n’respect website at www.sexnrespect.co.nz; Get the Facts Safer Sex at www.getthefacts.health.wa.gov.au; WA Aids Council Safe Sex. No Regrets at www.safesexnoregrets.com.au; Tasmanian Department of Health and Human Services – ‘Safer Sex’; Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service, Young Adult Health, South Australia – ‘Safer Sex’;